Smartest Purchase Ever

Last week I bought my smartest purchase ever: black Wellies from Gap. (And they rang up as Wellies on the receipt, not rain boots, so it's not me being faux-British. Except that, like quite a few British words, their word is far superior to ours so I would call them that anyway.)

Mine look a lot like these, except with a hot pink lining. And yes, it does make a difference.

I should have bought a pair years ago. College would have been vastly different, and far drier, with a pair of these babies. I wore them yesterday to see the Cherry Blossoms, since the Tidal Basin was muddy and puddley and yucky. And I wore them today on my way to work in the torrential downpour. And I did not have to ring out my jeans, dry off my shoes with paper towels, or buy new socks. I was so happy about dry feet that I went and bought a bagel...in the rain!

So thank you Gap, for having them in my size and on sale for $5. And thank you especially to the Duke of Wellington, for deciding it wasn't enough to defeat Napoleon at Waterloo or twice serve as Prime Minister. No, you would have dry feet as well.

What's love got to do with it

As a compulsive listmaker, it should come as no surprise that I keep mental running lists in my head for various things. Not unlike the draft box in my Gmail, full of quotes and to-do lists and half-finished blog posts, my brain holds drafts of the following lists:

• Famous people who make me so nervous I would surely throw up on them were we ever to meet
• Why I shouldn't have children
• Things I would change were I president/supreme ruler of the world
• What I think an acid trip would be like*
• Reasons to get married

The latter is the reason for this post. Thus far, ignoring all that soulmate, true love, someone to grow old with mumbo jumbo, are the reasons I have for for why I should get married.
So I will have someone to:

• Kill bugs
• Help me make my queen-size bed
• Smooth down the back of my collar (I don't know why I have such issues with this.)
• Do the grocery shopping and cooking
• Counteract my type A, OCD, OMG that DVD is not in alphabetical order uptightness
  
• Apply sunscreen/lotion to my back
  

Ahh, but I can now cross this last one off, or at least half of it, as I have discovered this:
A lotion applicator from Bed, Bath, and Beyond. Perfect for those hard to reach, turning from sunburned to tan, itchy back places. AKA TMI, Bonnie, TMI.

Whatever, it still gets the stamp of approval. (Can you tell I am trying to make myself tired before bed?)

*Clarification: I've never done drugs, but thus far I imagine an acid trip to be one part the boat ride from Willy Wonka, mixed with that emo guy's tortuous rendition of Ring of Fire from last week's American Idol, with a voiceover done by that crazy MTV VJ Jesse, wrapped in tie dye. With cupcakes for dessert.