Thursday, October 11, 2012

Confession of the Week

"Drunk Bonnie is an oracle."

Last week, I was mildly panicking about meeting my two favorite bloggers next month at their book signing and had this IM conversation with Gloria:

G: But there will be wine!
B: Oh, yeah, because Drunk Bonnie makes great decisions.
G: Drunk Bonnie is an oracle.

This made me laugh so much. I guarantee the next time Drunk Bonnie makes an appearance she will tell everyone she is an oracle.

(Parents: I'm a grown up and I'm not embarrassed for you to know these things. But if you want to skip this next part that's totally fine.)

Because I don't believe in being ashamed of my mistakes, a few things that Drunk Bonnie has done:
  • Called, e-mailed, texted, and tweeted at everyone she's ever known. Twice. Or 40 times.
  • Fell down in front of a cop and declared, "It's ok, I fall when I'm sober!"
  • Blurted out things.
  • PDA all over the place.
  • Explained the football metaphor to her boss. (Don't ask.)
  • Cried in a restaurant bathroom and had the manager follow her in to make sure she was alright.
  • Accused a certain Duke basketball player of being a homosexual. (Only to his face on the TV but, still, Sober Bonnie doesn't do that.)
  • Re-formatted her computer after it got a virus. (Really, that happened.)

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