Friday Soapbox

I'm going to start un-friending Facebook friends who use slang for one's sexual orientation as an insult, greeting, or adjective for what they deem unacceptable behavior. (i.e. cheering for a certain team or liking a certain band.)

I've reached the point where it's no longer about respecting viewpoints that are different from mine. I can respect differing views on abortion, government spending, war, etc. I absolutely can not when it comes to gay rights. It's my line in the sand. It's seriously the only issue I can think of where my only response is "You're wrong," end of story.

It is just incorrigible to me that in 2010 people still think it's acceptable. I guess it should count for something that the vast majority of people I know now, the people I've been exposed to since high school, even those with the most conservative beliefs, would never use such language. They may not agree with the "lifestyle," for lack of a better word, but they would never demean them in such a way. There are good, classy people out there. There are.

My anger may be partly because of something that happened on Facebook a few weeks ago. Someone I barely know from high school, who didn't go to the school, posted a status about liking Carolina basketball. Someone else responded "why do you want to cheer for those fags?" To which the person responded, "no, the b-ball team isn't fags, just the students that go there."

First, let's get this out of the way being that it is my number one pet peeve, thorn in my side, line I refuse to cross: using slang for sexual orientation as an insult, adjective, or method of judgment is unacceptable. I HATE IT. And even hate isn't a strong enough word. Gay doesn't mean weak, effeminate, dumb, or sad. There are plenty of words that mean those things, so use them!

Second, basketball players are students. And from what I've read about players, at least past players, they adore Chapel Hill and would not be ashamed to be considered a part of it. And I know he or she intended the "fag" to be an all-encompassing insult for that which they fear the most: PEOPLE WHO ARE DIFFERENT. People who buck the status quo, dress differently, think! Because compared to lots of places, Chapel Hill is different. (Thank, God.) I've been faced with this kind of judgment of UNC students for years, long before I went there, while I was there, and even now after. It doesn't bother me so much if people want to assume I'm a crazy liberal lesbian who doesn't shave her legs. Whatever. I am a crazy liberal, I'm not gay but I love them, and I do shave my legs, but not because society tells me to, but because I want to.

I'll never forget a trip home-- a place I love and defend, by the way, but does have its flaws -- while in college and having a grown woman ask me about Carolina: "Is everybody just really weird there?" Again, the word "weird" an expansive term to cover everything she dislikes or fears. It was then that I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that age doesn't equal knowledge, that money and social standing can get you far but it will never get you to a place of tolerance and class. All three of which, by the way, I was brought up on and only had reinforced and strengthened at that "weird' Chapel Hill.

Bottom line: "Gay" either describes your mental state or your sexual orientation; that's it.

Friday Soapbox

I saw this on the shelf at Marshall's a few weeks ago. I think this week is the perfect time to post it.

It's an odd thing to be selling, even for $1, given that it's half gone and there's a footprint on top. But then you see the name on the side and, suddenly, it all makes sense.


-Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone.

Friday Soapbox

Today's soapbox has two parts.

1. The D.C. Council passed gay marriage legislation last week, paving the way for couples to marry this week. I am a firm believer in marriage equality and am a very proud District resident this week. The ceremonies and their participants were heavily covered, as they should be, and the stories were truly beautiful.

I will simply never understand why people want to deny couples together for 5, 10, 20 or more years the right to make the same commitment as straight couples. Don't tell me it ruins the sanctity of marriage -- look at the divorce rate. Don't tell me a religious reason. I'm religious too, but there's a reason we have separation of church and state. Don't tell me it's not natural.Though please do tell me how letting two men or two women marry is going to affect the value or importance of your marriage. I mean, it's garbage, but I would still love to hear an explanation.

(Photo by Bill O'Leary/Washington Post.)

2. The Washington Post ran the above picture on their front page, leading 27 to cancel their subscriptions. The Ombudsman wrote a blog post addressing this, and why he and the Post stand by their decision:

"Did the Post go too far? Of course not. The photo deserved to be in newspaper and on its Web site, and it warranted front-page display...News photos capture reality. And the prominent display reflects the historic significance of what was occurring. The recent D.C. Council decision to approve same-sex marriage was the culmination of a decades-long gay rights fight for equality. Same-sex marriage is now legal in the District...There was a time, after court-ordered integration, when readers complained about front-page photos of blacks mixing with whites. Today, photo images of same-sex couples capture the same reality of societal change."

As far as I'm concerned, love is love. And in this case, too much of it can't be a bad thing.

Friday Soapbox

Testing out blogging on my new phone. I think I have freakishly large fingers because typing on this thing is hard! Also, this is when being a grammar Nazi is especially annoying. But alas, that's not the soapbox. Because...I can't think of a single thing to rant about. I know, I'm worried too.

But after being snowed in for a week, an amazing trip to LA (more on that later), and being happy to be back at work and out again, I just can't complain.

There is of course all the snow still hanging around, the Tiger thing, the train wreck that is UNC basketball, and the continued rise of ultra-conservative Conservatives, but, I'll leave those for another day.

Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone.

Friday Soapbox

It comes very naturally for me to be ragey and cynical. But I saw on several other blogs where they were listing their simple pleasures, and thought that in light of how ragey and cynical I've been lately/always, I'd make that today's soapbox. A few of my simple pleasures are:

• When a metro train pulls up right as I get off the escalator.
• Anything argyle
• Huggy sweaters (Sweaters that make you want to hug someone/be hugged.)
• Fountains, chandeliers, tiaras, and pearls
• Scalding hot showers
• When my bank account has more money than I thought it did.
• Finishing a book in a day because I had the time and it was just that good.
• Lounging around in a pair of jeans and a Carolina hoodie.
• Bebe chapstick from Germany
• When things match
• "I look at you, and I'm home." (Finding Nemo)
  
• Exclamation points
• Anything Carolina blue
• Being warm.
• When my friends just "get it."
• Reading a book or article and thinking, "I could do better."
• Anytime there's a new episode of a favorite TV show, especially when I thought it was going to be a repeat.
• Obama
• Every time the space shuttle lifts off.
• Center Street at Christmas, The Old Well, Big Ben, and The White House
• "If I could just find a place that made me feel like Tiffany's, I'd buy some furniture and give the cat a name." (Breakfast at Tiffany's)
• To be continued...
  

Friday Soapbox

This week I've:

• Fallen on the metro escalator.
  
• Twice.
• Same escalator, same knee.
  
• Cut my finger while cutting carrots.
• And then wore a pirate bandaid to work.
• Missed my cup when pouring hot water for tea and got my hand instead.
• Been unbearably cold 90% of the time.
  

But I've also:

• Had champagne on three different days.
• Searched for "Audrey Hepburn" on Etsy and fell in love.
• Uploaded a year's worth of pictures to Facebook.
• Finally used the sewing machine I got for my birthday.
  
• In January 2009.
• Had an amazing dinner with a friend.
• Volunteered.

So the verdict is still out on how the week went. All I know is right now I'm watching musicals in my pajamas while drinking tea. So it's all good.

Friday Soapbox

Things that broke my heart this week:

• Massachusetts. Oh, Mass. You talk funny and now you vote funny. This just makes me sad on many levels.
  
• Carolina basketball. Already mentioned, see post below.
• NBC.Team Conan all the way! WTF, NBC? I've never found Leno funny and I just don't get the appeal.
  
• And related, Jay Leno to host White House Correspondent's Dinner. Again, I repeat, WTF? I just don't find him funny. And that "heh heh" chuckle thing he does makes my skin crawl; I don't trust it.
• John Edwards. Yes, I highly doubt anyone on the planet doubted he was the father. But still, I used to really admire him and appreciate what he stood for. Or should I say "stood" for since I'm not sure if I believe anything he's ever said now. And of course the fact that he's a Carolina boy makes it even worse.
  

Friday Soapbox

I've been congested for nearly two weeks now. It started as a terribly runny nose that I thought would lead to a cold, but has instead clung to me this past week as severe congestion. I couldn't sleep Monday or Tuesday night, before finally finding some nighttime medicine that worked and knocked me out the past two nights. (Which was especially nice when I missed the end of that dreadful basketball game on Wednesday.)

I've gone through two boxes of tissues, one at work and one at home, and I know my office is tired of hearing me blow my noise, sniffle, and groan, "Ugh I just want to breathe!" And yes, I should probably think about going to the doctor, but I hate doctors.

I am going to let this not-a-cold die out, I hope, and plan on taking it easy this weekend, for the most part. Going through my financial papers, clearing out at least two-feet of magazines, and maybe a movie.

Oh, how exciting, the life of a 20-something!

Friday Soapbox

Why are the things that I've bought in the past month, that I didn't think would be on sale anytime soon, of course on sale today, Black Friday? Why are the things that I really do need to buy to give as gifts, the first things to be sold out? But the things I don't need, that I just want for myself, are all over the place?

And how happy am I that Mom and I didn' t leave the house until noon today? And even though we were racing through JCPenney's, and even though we still were surrounded by crazy shoppers and spent way too much money, the fact that we didn't start until most people had already been out for six or seven hours, means we scored a little victory over the Black Friday overlords.

Friday Soapbox

All this week, media coverage has been saturated by the two things about 2008 that I despised the most: Twilight and Sarah Palin.

Please, please, please go away, both of you. Put a stake in them, they're done.

Friday Soapbox

"Some of the happiest memories of my life are from those early, impossibly sunlit days."

-Sen. Ted Kennedy, True Compass

Davie Poplar, McCorkle Place, UNC Chapel Hill, May 12, 2006

Friday Soapbox

I tried to keep it in but I have to get it off my chest. If I lose readers then that's ok, sorry.
I love the fact that we live in a country where we are free to protest. My biggest regret about college is that in four years at one of the most politically-conscious colleges in the country, I didn't attend a single protest. Bu the protest yesterday at the Capitol, and the many in the past few months, have just got me thinking.

The media coverage has been focused on those against the health care debates and proposals, against the so-called "socialized" medicine. They deserve to have their voices heard, but they aren't the only voices. And that's what bugs me the most, about some of their signs and messages, some of them acting like they speak for everyone. Some people want this! Please quit making it out to be Congress steamrolling the electorate. Some people have fought for this, voted for exactly this!

And "tea parties" where they claim they have no representation? They have representation, they just don't like what their reps are doing. (The only people who can legitimately claim no representation, are D.C. residents. And I thought that long before I became a resident and will continue to think so after.) The same people crying "hands off my health care," are probably the same ones who would shout down someone with a pro-choice "hands off my body" rally-cry. (Of course, I want government hands off my body but on my health care, so maybe I'm a hypocrite, too.)

This is what I voted for last November, so I'm happy. But I do need to try to remember how miserable I was for 8 years, and that a good portion of the country is feeling the same way now. (Of course I'd be a lot more patient and tolerant if people would stop saying the President is Hitler, the Joker, a Kenyan national, and a Grandma-killer.)

And while living a mile from the Capitol has made me less tolerant of protesters, particularly when they're exercising the First Amendment in the middle of a workweek, I still appreciate living in a country where it's at least an option. Where it's a guaranteed right in the pocket Constitutions they were waving around yesterday. Though I don't remember them doing so when freedoms were trampled on with the Patriot Act. Just another difference of opinions and perspective, I guess.

Friday Soapbox: U2 Edition

Time for another happy soapbox post. For the past two weeks I've been listening to U2 pretty much non-stop. I've been making note of my favorite lines, because that's just what I do. Thus I present a non-exhaustive selection of some of my favorites. No promises that all the lyrics are correct as it's practically a guarantee with me that there will be a misheard lyric or two. Or ten.

After the flood all the colors came out
Beautiful Day

Love left a window in the skies, and to love I rhapsodize
Window in the Skies

If your way should falter, along this stormy pass
It's just a moment, this time will pass
Stuck in a Moment You Can't Get Out Of

I wasn't jumping, for me it was a fall
It's a long way down to nothing at all
Stuck in a Moment You Can't Get Out Of

Lift my days, light up my nights
Mysterious Ways

If you want to kiss the sky better learn how to kneel
Mysterious Ways

I found grace inside a sound, I found grace it's all I found
Breathe

Free at last
They took your life
They could not take your pride
Pride (In the Name of Love)

Where you live should not decide, whether you live, or whether you die
Crumbs from Your Table

Can you see the beauty I had inside of me?
What happened to the beauty I had inside of me?
City of Blinding Lights

Baby slow down, the end is not as far as the start
Please stay a child somewhere in your heart
Original of the Species

I believe in the kingdom come, when all the colors will bleed into one
I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For

You've got to cry without weeping
Talk without speaking
Scream without raising your voice
Running to Stand Still

I was speeding on the subway, through the stations of the cross
Moment of Surrender

I know it aches and your heart it breaks and you can only take so much
Walk On

And if your glass heart should crack and for a second you turn back
Oh no, be strong
Walk On

How long must we sing this song?
Sunday Bloody Sunday

Every generation gets a chance to change the world
I Know I'll Go Crazy if I Don't Go Crazy Tonight

Can you hear me when I sing
You're the reason I sing
You're the reason why the opera is in me
Sometimes You Can't Make it On Your Own

The worst of us are a long drawn-out confession
The best of us are geniuses of compression
Cedars of Lebanon

And many, many more...

Friday Soapbox

The Roman Polanski arrest has been dominating the headlines this week. (At least the headlines I read.) And I really just can't take it anymore. People who defend his actions under the guise of his talent, age, or history, are making my stomach churn.

You aren't above the law simply because you make films for a living. Believing that his position in society excuses him from his actions creates a dangerous rape culture where you trivialize the plight of the victim as you idolize the perpetrator. And any attempts to brush aside his actions because they happened so long ago are offensive to women who have suffered similar pain and who can spend a lifetime getting over it.

I know the victim just wants to put this behind her, and she deserves to have her voice heard more than anyone, but justice is not up to an individual, and the final decision has to be made by the system. A system that he ran from, by the way.

The bottom line, as I see it:

• He drugged and raped a CHILD.
• He fled the country instead of facing the consequences.
• He broke the law in a heinous way and deserves to pay.

End of story.

Friday Soapbox

I was going to rant about politicians and the press, but instead, I read this article and decided it was a much better and happy soapbox to jump on.

Arkansas player ends game with noble gesture

In a high school football game in Arkansas between Cave City and Yelleville-Summit, Cave City was up 34-18 against the small school whose heart just wasn't in the game. Yelleville lost one player in a car crash the week before and had four more players seriously injured. Cave City's Thamail Morgan, about to score again, stopped at the 2 yard line, backed up to the five, and took the knee.

"Before the game, we as a team, talked about being classy," he said. "We did not want to come out in a game like this and not show any class."

The article also mentions how Morgan is new to Cave City after trasnferring from his prior school because of an unnamed disciplinary action. CC's coach said he could play if he agreed to certain terms -- extra workouts, good performance in school, meeting with a church counselor -- and so far he's been practically perfect.

This story just made my day. I will stop watching games where teams are embarrasingly ahead of their opponents. The class that this kid -- and his entire team -- showed is inspiring and I hope he ends up with a scholarship he rightly deserves.

Friday Soapbox (on Monday)

In my journey to get to the movies* downtown on Saturday I happened across many of the people protesting on the Mall. I hate large crowds of any kind but my need for movie munchies led me to the CVS on Pennsylvania. Big mistake.

I'm not commenting on some of the protesters -- I've ranted enough to multiple people that it's out of my system. (Plus I'm cranky and don't feel like being eloquent, fair, or dignified.) And sometimes all you need is one word anyway so I'll leave that to George S.:

"Bury Obamacare with Kennedy"??? - George's Bottom Line

Classy, indeed.

*For the curious, I saw the documentary The September Issue, about Anna Wintour and Vogue. It was really well done and quite funny. When I grow up, I want Wintour's wardrobe and style and Grace Coddington's talent and attitude.

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Friday Soapbox

I really enjoy following politics and current events. I am a complete and utter news addict and check CNN, Politico, DCist, HuffPo, Slate, etc. constantly throughout the day. Therefore I probably start a dozen different posts or emails in my drafts every week ranting about something; they very rarely get any further than drafts. Thus I present a new feature...Friday Soapbox! (And because it's my blog and if no one wants to read it I'm just self-involved enough to keep writing anyway.)

From an article on Politico:

The White House says Obama’s address is a sort of pep talk for the nation’s
schoolchildren. But conservative commentators have criticized Obama for
trying to “indoctrinate” students to his liberal beliefs, and some parents call it an improper mix of politics and education.

If it hasn't already been made clear by some of my statements here, or some of the read books in my list at left, I am someone who holds those dreaded "liberal beliefs" that apparently has parents and school districts quaking in their boots. However, I find this offensive on a level beyond mere political divisions. I was taught in social studies classes as far back as I can remember about being a good citizen. This meant obeying the law, understanding the way government works, and respecting those in power. Even if you don’t respect the person, you still respect the office and the job they are doing.

And the key point here, to me, is that these are children. His message is about staying in school and being a good citizen. What is so harmful about that? There are a thousand worse things we could “indoctrinate” our children on than the importance of education and citizenship.

I can readily admit that I’ve said and thought some less than civil things about our last president. I’m fairly sure I even uttered the phrase “not my president” a time or two, and that wasn’t the most constructive way to go. But I would never begrudge him the chance to engage the next generation in this manner. Voter turnout and political interest amongst my generation is abysmal. Why not let this next one know now that they have a voice?

There is so much bitter partisanship nowadays -- and I implicate myself in that as well -- I just don't see why people are trying to put that on their kids as well. Let them at least have a shot at thinking we all can get along. Or at the very least have a civil debate before falling back on the standby accusations of a leftist government controlling kids and killing grandparents while making everyone be vegetarian and live in a Socialist commune.

And also, Reagan did it too.

(And now I'm off to Vegas! So if this isn't as eloquent or as rational as it should have been, I'll fix it Tuesday. Vegas on the mind!)