Thursday, March 22, 2012

Thoughts I Thought Today

  • Even though it's my job to care if two words should be one word or connected with a hyphen, sometimes, I just really, really don't give a damn.
  • McDonald's employs lying bastards and I'm a gullible idiot. Exhibit A:
    • McDonald's employee: [handing me my order] Quarter pounder with cheese?
    • Me: Without cheese?
    • Employee: Yes.
    • Little voice in my head: You know he's lying.
    • Other little voice in my head: Meh, maybe not.
    • [15 minutes later at home in my apartment as I'm scraping two slices of American cheese off my quarter pounder] Me: expletive deleted! expletive deleted! expletive deleted!
  • American cheese truly sickens me.
  • If I ever actually put my belongings where they belonged I wouldn’t know what to do with all the extra time I’d save not looking for my belongings. Most-often misplaced belongings include my:
    • Perpetually missing “other” shoe
    • Spare iPhone charger
    • Earbuds (Which are always at the bottom of my bag, just to the left of where my hand didn’t graze.)
    • Sunglasses (Which are always at the bottom of my bag, just to the right of my where my hand didn't graze.)
    • Eyeglasses (Which are always on my nightstand yet I insist on fumbling half-blind around my bathroom and bedroom pawing at different surfaces for them. What’s that? Perhaps after 15 years of wearing glasses/contacts I should locate the glasses BEFORE removing the contacts? Well, aren’t you a smug bastard.)
  • I'm so grateful for work from home days. So grateful.
  • I'm also grateful for blooming cherry blossom and dogwood trees, which are all over my neighborhood.
  • This actually isn't sarcasm: I really do need more Carolina blue clothing, specifically, shoes. In picking out clothes for tomorrow's game day, I've already worn it all, twice. Perhaps that's just a pitfall of my team making it to the Sweet 16. (That last part is sarcasm.)
  • "Community" is too weird now and "30 Rock" isn't as good as it used to be.

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