Let there be quotes!

I’ve been collecting these in a draft post for a few weeks now, time to clean house. Or blog, rather.

Brandie: Did you by any chance re-caulk our bathtub today?
Me: No...
Brandie: Well, somebody did.

Daddy: Did you fix the grammatical error in your last post?
Me: What error?
Daddy: You have "tool" and I think you meant "fool."
Me: No, I meant tool, it's slang.
(later)
Mom: It's slang? I've never heard it and I'm cool, I'm hip to the jive.

Anonymous friend, re: basketball
“Re-fucking-bound!!!”

Co-worker, re: octuplets
"I mean, they limit how many dogs you can have..."

Re: Cameron Crazies at the Duke game
Me: I hate their striped shirts. They look like they escaped from prison, that's not attractive!
Brandie: Umm...they're referees. They have to wear them.
Me: The students, not the refs!
Brandie: Oh, you mean the Where's Waldo kids?

“Who is MIA - is that Mia as in a first name or is someone missing in
action? I am guessing it is a woman or a whole bunch of women who
are pregnant.”
-Mom

My metro driver, among many humorous things he said, regarding the massive delays this morning:
“Sorry about the interruption, folks. Someone came up to the window for some special attention. I don’t mind, but it means I have to take my attention away from the rest of you all.”

“Well, this is just about as bad as I’ve ever seen it. You can switch to the green or yellow lines at L’enfant, which, you know, isn’t a bad idea. But it’s your choice, of course.”

“I do apologize for making you late to wherever you are trying to get to, be it work, school, home…or play.”

(Naturally, I want to know who is going to “play” at nine in the morning.)