Tuesday, February 03, 2009

What NOT to do on the Metro

I want anyone who Googles any of these things to be directed to my site, because I have a little story about unacceptable Metro/public/anytime behavior.

Why people on the metro suck
Rude people on the metro
I have a staring problem on the metro, is that ok?
Things NOT to do on public transportation
Unacceptable public behavior

I will begrudgingly give you that continuing to attempt small talk with me when I have in earphones, am reading a book, and have my "I'm a bitch" face on, could most likely be construed as a lack of understanding normal social cues.

However, sitting beside me and proceeding to unabashedly stare at me, from three inches away, is not ok. When I realize you are staring, look up and actually jump because it surprises me, and you STILL STARE, even more not ok. Creeping me out so much that I have to get off at a metro stop that's not mine, just to get away from you, is NOT ACCEPTABLE.

To the creepy guy that did all of this, you should know that I found my pepper spray and am re-adopting my college motto of "spray first, ask questions later." So good luck.

And you should also know, my prison-experience TV show of choice has been Prison Break, and not The Wire. As a result, I'm not that afraid of prison. It turns out it's alarmingly easy to escape them on several continents, and has hot shirtless guys. Did I mention I am also trained in trachea breaking, eye gouging, and shouting "NO!" whilst running away?

I don't think people understand that while I have no ass and a slight Southern accent, I have a temper that rivals John McEnroe, Naomi Campbell, and Christian Bale, combined.

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