Harper's Ferry, WV
This is so going to be the name of, and advertisement for, my first illegal endeavor. I'm leaning toward high-class escort service because, come on, that's a great name. But I'm also considering import/export or money laundering. It's good to have options.
*Note: While I don't condone any of these endeavors, that is especially true of the escort service. Yuck. However, I would like to point out I would just be running the service, not participating in it. That should totally make the parents proud.