A lot of Spam (Or, I think that I think too much.)

My Gmail does a great job of keeping spam mail out of my inbox. Which means if I were smart I would never have to see all the grammatically offensive and biologically impossible missives. But since I just can't ignore that little number that appears when a new nonsensical message enters my folder...

...I am constantly clicking, opening, and "deleting forever" unwanted mail. (And also because occasionally wanted mail ends up there, and I'm scared I'm going to miss something good.)

For the most part, the messages are nothing new. Increase the size of your [incorrectly spelled description of, you know]! Cheap (Faux)Rolexes! A Nigerian Prince just wants to love you, won't you pay him $1000.00 to do so! Verify your non-existent Bank of America account! Vicodin for half off! (Ok, some days, that one is tempting.)

Except yesterday I got this one:

Maybe this one has been around awhile too, but it's new to me.

I'm so tempted to at least open it. Maybe I did run across someone on the metro or at Barnes and Noble, and maybe she interpreted my holding my purse closer to me or pointedly turning the volume up on my iPod, as an offer to help her find a man.

Because, you know, if there's one thing I'm good at it, it's finding rich available men to marry. No, really, I am turning them away. I'm just too selfish to turn them to a Russian emailer's way; Americans are greedy like that.

My favorite part is that it's from "me." I hate when spammers do this. I am constantly sending myself mail and if there was one way to trick me into opening a virus, that would be it.

Until I receive further proof from "me" that she has exhausted all her other outlets in finding a man, I think I'll just continue to hoard them and placate them with Rolexes and Vicodin.

And maybe I'll stay out of my Spam folder for a while. Like the subject says, I think that I think too much.