"I think vests are all about protection. You know what I mean? Like a lifevest protects you from drowning and a bulletproof vest protects you from getting shot and the sweatervest protects you from pretty girls. 'Leave me alone. Can't you see I'm cold just right here?'"Today I was protected from harm because I wore a vest. Following his logic, I suppose a dressy vest worn in an office should protect one from stray staples. Or irate personnel. Or maybe not protect one at all, but lead people to think you are a waiter. Luckily, for once in my life, no mistaken identity today.
-Demetri Martin
I think pairing it with a skirt and tall boots kept people from tossing me their keys to park their car. (And thus kept everyone else from hearing about a 10-car pile-up in a parking lot in McLean due to a license-less valet.)
Also, this isn't a new new thing, just new to me as an adult. The last time I wore a vest was in the sixth grade, and I have the class picture, buried somewhere at home, to prove it. Which I do not feel the need to do.
Sadly, the vest did not have the same power as the cowboy boots. I'm not sure I could have kicked anyone's ass today. But I'm pretty sure I could have helped sell a few Girl Scout cookies.
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